After three years of a grueling separation, I finally achieved a dream that had lingered in my heart for a long time: to celebrate my son’s birthday at his side. But in the depths of this joy lies a deep sadness. The distance between us is not only physical, but also mental and emotional. Despite finally having the opportunity to be together, the reality is that I cannot imagine my son running to me with all his affection, both of us experiencing the motherly love that we have been deprived of all these years.
My son, your birthday was one of the most important days of my life. At the moment when I held you for the first time, new bornI was filled with the new and unique feeling of being a mother. This pure feeling was a big change for me. But unfortunately it didn’t last long. We parted very quickly.
Maybe one of the biggest regrets of my life Is not being able to spend with you great moments like the first day of school, the days of play and joy, or even the moments of sadness and crying. I couldn’t see your first steps on the road to growth and success. I couldn’t be there by your side with pride and love. All those experiences were taken away from me, from you too.
We were far apart, not only in terms of distance, but emotionally. I wanted to be with you in every cry, in every laughter.but it was impossible not because of our will, but because of circumstances over which we had no control.
Today, however, I believe this separation may be over, maybe very soon we can be together again and make up for all the moments we lost, although I know that this separation and this deep wound will always be with us. We cannot ignore all those lost years, but I look forward to the day when I can hug you and feel our connection.
This morning, as I was walking to work, my attention was drawn to a video on TikTok. In it, Shakirathe famous singer, hugged her children and they kissed her. This scene squeezed my heart in a strange way. My tears flowed involuntarily. I said to myself, “Why can’t I hug my children like other mothers?”.
Will there come a day when my children will come to me and hug me, without fear or anxiety? Will there come a day when I no longer need documents to prove to others that I am their mother? I feel helpless and empty-handed, struggling to prove my motherhood.
My son, you are now 10 years old and I have not been able to be with you. This pain has always accompanied me. But in spite of all the difficulties I still have the hope of recovering all these lost years, that we can start a new life together.
The pain of separation is something no mother should experience. I will never stop fighting. I will never give up Waiting for the day when we can live together with your brothers. I have always had you in my heart.